How long is forever?
by letitgrowboi
Summary: A story about the Hetalia characters dying! yayyyyy! (sorry might be really sad) (also on wattpad under the profile @fightme-jkdont, it will probably be updated sooner than this one)
1. Chapter 1

_**ROMANO P.O.V!**_

As I sit here in my bed I look up and see Antonios' ever smiling face creased with worry,

"Oh please! Don't give me that look you _culo!"_ I practically yell at him, _"_ i'll be fine! so what if i'm dying? you don't have to be such a drama queen!"

"Lovino" Antonio says, "Do you even hear yourself right now?! You! are! dying! This is kind of a big deal! stop acting so nonchalant, there's still so many more things that we need to do!" Antonio says while running his hands through his hair

"Maybe still things that _you_ want to do... I just wanted to have a good life, and you know what?you gave me that." I say as tears well in my eyes, "oh _mannaggia!_ you're making me get upset you jerk! I didn't want this! i wasn't even going to tell you anything! The last thing I want is to be sad before I die, I just want to talk to you and act like this is a normal day... please?" I ask

Antonio looks at me "... I don't know, I just wanted to make today great for you. This is the last day i get to spend with you... ever! he sobs "I don't know what to do! I don't think i could get along without you! Besides, you should still have at least fifty years left! I mean, unknown illness my ass!"

At his unusually harsh words I can feel my heartbeat speed up and my breathing get shallow, "oh god" I think, "he's right. this is it, I'm going to be gone forever! No more time anywhere but in the ground, or maybe who knows where in the afterlife if there even is one. And eventually no one i know will even be alive and there will be no one alive who even remembers me. And-"

My thoughts are cut short by Antonio shaking me trying to get my attention " Lov, Lov! babe snap out of it!" Only after i feel his grounding grip on my shoulders do i realize that i have been openly shaking and sobbing with my head in my hands, "Lov, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean for this to happen." he says once again brushing his hair out of his eyes, " I just need you to know that this isn't something that you can act like isn't happening. You don't accept things when they matter the most"

"I'd apologize if I thought I was in the wrong but i'm not" I said as a headache pounded, "OW!" Antonio suddenly sits up and looks at me

"are you okay?" he says studying my eyes "should I get you a advil? or some water? "

"Yeah i'm fine, I just need you to... go get me another pillow from your room" I said knowing full well that i'm not going to be fine, but i still smile as he hesitantly leaves the room. I take a deep breath, "this is it" I think as I close my eyes for the last time. As I slip into unconsciousness I hear Antonio's foot steps pound down the hallway and then everything fades away.

 __ _ **SPAIN P.O.V.**_

"Lov?" I call bringing him his stuff, "Oh my God!" I say as I drop the stuff I got for him as i see his seemingly lifeless body, I run over to him "Lov?! Lovino! wake up!" I say and start shaking his body "please! Oh God! Lovino? Wake up" I sob "p-please, wake up... please?" he doesn't wake up, I didn't really think he would .

time skip!

I have stopped leaving the house, it's been 3 months and still no improvement in my life. I used to visit Lov's grave every week and now i'm just trying to move on. I can't do it anymore, I can't keep doing _this,_ ignoring everyone, never eating and not being able to even function. It's time. I sent a text to Francis and Gilbert apologizing for ignoring them and not even letting them know i'm alive. I also sent a text to Feliciano telling him not to forget about me and to bury me next to his brother when i'm gone. I gather my things together and take out the gun I had finally acquired after a long time. As I lift the gun to my temple I think about whether or not I really want to do this.

*BANG! BANG! BANG!* My thoughts are interrupted by Ludwig banging on the door

"Antonio! Open this door!" Ludwig yells

I just look at the door and say nothing

"Antonio? please just open the door _buon amico!"_ Feliciano pleads " Don't do anything that you might regret, just let us in!"

Gilbert and Francis whisper behind the door

"Look" Gilbert says "please just open the door"

"Oui! Let us in!" Francis says through the crack in the side of the door

"I'm sorry..." I say "I can't let you in, not now, i've come too far to quit"

" _Amico!_ Don't do this! Just open the door!" Feliciano says jiggling the doorknob

"I'm sorry..." I whisper putting my finger on the trigger "I really am" I take a deep breath then pull the trigger.

R.I.P.

Antonio (spain) Lovino (romano)

died of gun shot died of illness

you will be missed

p.s. you can recommend characters that are next to die (wow that sounds terrible)


	2. Chapter 2

_Canada P.O.V._

I'm sitting in the corner of a crowded party room, but I'm just ready to go home.

"Alfred! Alfred! Hey!" I say, when that doesn't work I grab Alfred's shoulder to finally get his attention

"What is it Dudebro?" Alfred asks nonchalantly

"I'm sorry but I'm gonna head home" I mutter hoping he doesn't get mad at me

"Oh... Why Dude? This whole partying scene not your thing?"

"Pretty much bro, I don't want to be a spoilsport but I'm gonna go home, I'm just tired. Plus this place is smokey and this punch tastes awful and makes me dizzy"

"That punch is spiked Matty, and you drank a lot. You're not driving yourself home, are you?

"Of course not! I'm just gonna walk home, My house isn't that far anyways."

"Ohhhhh Al!" A posh voice calls from the back of the room

Alfred's head turns around, "Well, um, be safe Matty! I've got things to _~do~"_ Alfred says and starts heading to the back of the room

"Ok" Damn Alfred and his fricken boyfriends, "I guess I'll see you later!"

"Bye Matty!" Al called over his shoulder

"Who's Matty?" I overhear that posh voice ask

"No one! Just my brother" Al says with a laugh

I head out the door into the frigid early January air, I zip up my jacket and pop up my fuzzy wool collar. I really don't trust these streets, they seem so suspicious especially at night. I hear a huge clatter and practically jump out of my pants, my head whips around but it turns out to just be an alley cat. I stoop down to pet the cat, it's a pretty dark brownish cat with a white face and stomach.

"Hey Pretty boy!" I hear a voice call out from behind me

"What?" I say, I turn around and see a tall brown haired man behind me, "oh, hello"

"What are you up to" He says while walking towards me and makes the cat run off

I back up and end up cornering myself against the alley wall "I'm just making my way home... uh- sir?"

"Name's Trent..." He says lifting my chin, "What's yours beautiful?"

"Uh m-my names Matthew." I say moving my head out of his grip. God, why can't he leave me alone?

"I like that name" He says moving closer, I try to move but he grabs my wrist "Hey, I'm looking for some company tonight. You interested?"

"Um" Jesus Christ, I need to get out of here, "W-what so you mean?"

" _Puh-lease_ baby, don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, such an attractive boy like you must know what I'm talking about" He says grabbing me by the hips

"Well I don't really know you..." I say trying to escape out of his grip

"Hey! _Where_ are you _going_?! He says grabbing tightly onto my arms "You are coming with _me!_ "

"I don't want to!" I say trying to run away

"Come here you _bitch_!"He says grabbing my shoulders

I try to call for help until he starts to kiss me,I reach up and hit him in the face with the back of my hand

"Ah Shit! You little whore, why'd you do that?" He says and punches me in the face, which knocks me to the ground "Get up! Get up, you little bitch, Get up!

I stand up, wincing with the pain that it takes to stand up, "Please let me leave, just let me go, I won't tell anyone I swear!"

"Oh no pretty boy, it's to late for you to leave now." Trent says pulling me along towards the back of the alley

"Let go! please" I say as I start trying to hit him in a fugal attempt to escape

"C'mere Mattyboy" Trent says kissing my neck

I whimper as I try to squirm out of his grip

"Stop it!" He says punching me again "Fine" He huffs, "Be like that, but you can't say I didn't give you a chance."

"Wait, what are you doing?" I say panicked as he grabs something out of a corner of the alley

"I gave you a chance to escape, if only you had listened to me." He says showing me a metal object

"What is that for?!" I say tears of panic welling in my eyes, I try to escape but I'm trapped

"Well, It's to bad to see someone as pretty as you go, but, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do" Trent says swinging a large pipe into the wall beside me

 _Crack_! the pipe makes a dent in the alley wall, I duck out of the way but I know I can't keep this up for much longer because of the searing pain in my head is making me dizzy

"Oh come on Mat, you're making this harder then it needs to be, just stay still dammit!"

He swings again, the pipe hits me right in the shoulder. The searing pain knocks me over.

"You can't escape now Matthew" He says as he hits me again with the pipe, "Any last words Mat?"

I can't say anything because of the immense pain in my head and shoulder

"I didn't think so" Trent says before giving a final blow which makes everything fade to black

The next day Matthews' body was found in an alley not even two full blocks away from his house. Almost every country came to his funeral. Though not everyone knew him, the way Alfred and Francis spoke of him encouraged them to attend. Kuma, Matthews' pet was adopted by Alfred so he could have a reminder of him.

R.I.P.

MATTHEW WILLIAMS

beaten to death

you will be missed


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys so I have no idea who to do next so please give me suggestions! Thanks dudes and dudettes! Sorry for the lack of update!

A/N as of march 18 2017 i am making a Italy chapter and a Japan chapter so get ready m8's (you can thank a user on here the upcoming Italian feels and a Wattpad user for the Japanese feels)


	4. Chapter 4

N. Italy POV

 **(this was suggested by an anonymous user on )**

 **A/N: this chapter has depression and stuff in it so yeah.**

"Good morning everybody!" I say walking into my living room.

"Yeah, good morning idiota!" My brother Lovino shouts

"Be nice Lovi! Buenos Dias Feliciano!" Antonio happily chides

I hear pots and pans clattering from my right "is Ludwig in the kitchen?" I ask tilting my head

"Sí, he said that he was going to make some sort of 'hash' of some sort." Antonio says clearly amused, "he's got absolutely no idea how to work anything in my kitchen"

I hear something in the kitchen fall and break I giggle, "I guess i'll go help him then!" I say as I practically skip into the kitchen.

That was the last happy day that I can remember, life was so different back then. I hadn't realized how terrible and cruel the real world is. In just the two months since then, something has happened with Ludwig, he has resorted to being more coarse and withdrawn. I had finally got my life to being happy once more and then everything went back to shit.

It's day 61 of pretending to care, pretending to be happy, pretending to be okay. I'm so tired of being okay! I'm not okay and probably never will be, why can't anyone understand that?! But in retrospect it's probably my fault, I've been pretending to be okay for 7 years so I've gotten pretty good at it. I can't blame them for believing my "happy act" Why would I be depressed? My life has been fine except for the fact that my sorry ass can't achieve half the things that all the people that surround me can. I'm surprised that I haven't been put in the books for being, "the biggest failure since operation Barbarossa"

My thoughts are interrupted by a large crash in the other end of the house, I nearly fall off my bed , "hello?" I call into the hallway. There's no response so I push on further, "hello?!" I don't believe that anyone had any extra keys to my house so I can't think of anyone who could be in my house right now. Another large thump points me in the direction of my closet, I slowly open the door and see my cat. "oh... it's just you kitty cat! you know you gave me a scare, I was lost in thought, and then you come along and knock over my boxes in my closet" I carry the cat into my room and put him on my bed "Oh kitty cat if only you knew how hard human life is" I sigh. I have to get up and make dinner

another dinner ,another day of smiling and trying to be interested in what everybody at the dinner is saying. Ludwig is sitting as far as he can from me and is chattering with Gilbert about random things. Kiku and Yao are both conversing quietly. Antonio and Lovino are being a perfect couple and Alfred is shouting about hamburgers and immigrants. I excuse myself from the table and leave the room.

I climb into bed with a empty stomach and wait for the sound of the door opening and closing and for the noise of people to lessen before falling asleep. I don't know why I don't do it tonight, why not end it all? But I think that my life could get better if I just hang on, Maybe, just maybe...

I wake up in the morning and I feel as if I'm sick because I have a light head and the fact that I'm abnormally cold. "Oh well" I think, "It's probably just a head cold" so I get up and I'm surprised by the smell of breakfast. I stumble into the kitchen while still half asleep. "Good morning..?" I say to the person making breakfast in the kitchen. "Guten Morgen!" Ludwig exclaims "Do you want me to make something for you to eat?" He asks eyeing my boney figure with a spatula in his hand. "No I'm not hungry " I reply hesitantly because of his transformation from sullen to... His regular self I suppose.

"Look..." Ludwig mumbled while turning off the stove, "uh... Look I just wanted to apologize for acting so strange lately, I just, I don't know. But can you forgive me?" He places his hand over mine. I start to pull my hand back and run then through my hair. "I'm not, I don't... I mean yeah, I suppose. I don't oppose that idea." I stuttered while running my hands through my hair. "Okay okay." Ludwig laughs "No reason to be so defensive Fel." He grabs my hands out of my hair and holds them, "No reason to be defensive because I would never judge you." He says as he kisses my head. _

Weeks go by and I'm still having bad headaches and I'm constantly cold but I'm putting it off as just the dreary winter has given me a long-lasting head cold. Ludwig and I are going out for a date today. It's nice to know that Ludwig still cares about me, that someone in the world still cares. While I'm getting ready Ludwig keeps kissing my cheek. "Lud stop!" I giggle. "I'm trying to get ready!" "Okay!" He says putting his hands in the air in mock surrender. "I'll just go and hang out in the living room while you comb your hair and put on your mascara." "Be quiet you big goofball!" "Plus I don't even wear mascara" I mumble. While I'm putting away my things I'm hit by a wave of dizziness "You okay there Fel?" Ludwig asks worriedly noticing my strange disposition. "Yeah I'm fine Lud, You ready to go?" I say playing off my fit of dizziness as a small passing moment. "Sure Fel! Let's go" Lud says while opening the door and letting us out of the house.

Once we arrive Ludwig continues to kiss me in the most surprising moments just for the sake of embarrassing me. In fact I'm so flustered by the time we need to order I have Ludwig do it for me. After we begin eating I start to feel sick. I don't want Lud to be worried so I excuse myself from the table and walk outside for some fresh air. On my way out of the door I get hit by strong dizziness and nearly fall over. I step outside and start pacing by the side of the building. When I start to head back into the restaurant and get a blinding headache and fall over. I'm laying on the ground and shivering as I hear Ludwig run outside and come to my side. "Fel?" He exclaims while checking my pulse and touching my face. "Ohmigod, Fel!" I see Lud pull out his phone as I take a deep breath, grab his hand and close my eyes.

On November 21 Feliciano died of self inflicted starvation. His Funeral was on December 20 that year.

 **R.I.P**

 **FELICIANO VARGAS**

 **Died of starvation**

 **You Will Be Missed**


End file.
